Sara Ann O'Sullivan

Patience is a virtue, and one that I am learning in this up-and-down year of 2026. It is an interesting thing because every time I think I have some control or a plan, there is always another wrench thrown into it.

I took Step 1 on May 15th (yay!), went to Alaska and back on my first cruise (yay again!), and then traveled once more to visit my boyfriend. And before you ask, I have not received my test score yet, so there is no update there. And before you ask again, yes, I am still working on my poetry book and the second Blessed book.

I know I have written before about feeling that lack of spark for writing, and I am still struggling with it. I find myself surrounded by a lot of unknowns when it comes to school and the next steps. Which is where patience comes in.

Learning to let things be and simply live in the moment—what a hardship that is. As someone who is usually in control of things, I find myself in a situation where I am forced to wait. Forced to reflect. Forced to accept that some things are beyond my control.

I have found areas of depression I did not even know existed, if I am being honest.

When I face another week without a test score release, I feel a strange depression unlike any other. It is like I am standing on a bridge between two paths, unable to make it to the other side despite feeling as though I have traveled this road for so long and done everything I could. The path behind me is familiar. The path ahead remains hidden. All I can do is stand on the bridge and wait.

There is a certain anger that flirts with me when I feel this way, and the voices of doubt begin to chant: Should have done more. Should have done it faster. Should have studied harder. But patience asks something different of me. It asks me to trust that the path ahead will still be there when the fog finally lifts.

At the end of the day, when I find myself sitting on the porch with one of my parents’ dogs, staring at their homemade garden while the bugs buzz around me, I realize there is more to life than waiting on a bridge between two paths.

I have done a lot in the time since taking Step 1. I have seen things in Alaska that I could write an entire post about. I have started reading again and have made plans to do more book reviews. I have gone back to the movie theater and seen new movies. I have listened to more music. I have been living a life.

While it is not always the life I want, it is still a life.

I want to be out of school and more financially stable. I want to be able to give my parents more. I want to know what comes next. But I also find that, right now, I can give my time and love to the people around me. I can play board games with my best friend. I can visit my sister. I can make coffee for my mom and talk with my dad.

The truth is that while I have been focused on reaching the other side of the bridge, life has continued around me. The garden still grows. The dogs still want attention. My family still laughs around the dinner. New books still wait to be read, and new stories still wait to be written.

I have the gift of time right now, and while patience sometimes slips between my fingers, I am working on it. I am working on building a life even while I stand on that bridge.

And as I work on my writing, I hope these feelings are reflected in it and that they reach someone out there who may be feeling the same way. Just remember that patience is not easy, but sometimes growth happens while we are waiting. Sometimes the bridge itself is part of the journey.

Thank you for being on this life adventure with me. I hope to write more reviews and share more writing with you soon.